The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden
by mrspencil
Summary: The saga of Flannelette Sparrow, fickle flower of fortune, as she uses her considerable skill and charm to help and hinder those she loves.Reference to the plots of PotC-CotBP,DMC and AWE. Chapter 51: I predict a riot.
1. The scene is set

**_a/n_**

_This evolved from a PM conversation with nytd about OCs in pirate plots, and kept going, with her encouragement :)_

_Thanks to nytd and Lemon Zinger for support and feedback._

_Any mistakes are my own. _

_AU but there are spoilers for "Curse of the Black Pearl"_

_I do not own any aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean, and make no money out of them. (Flannelette is not mine either- she is her own woman.)_

**

* * *

**

The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden

* * *

**Prologue:**

_This simple tale_

_Begins upon_

_A stolen naval_

_Ship._

_The task; to rescue Lizzie Swann_

_From ghostly pirate clutches._

_It features, with the usual cast,_

_The lovely Flannelette;_

_Who, as she makes her way through life,_

_Transforms each heart she touches._

* * *

**And so the tale begins...**

The sister of

Jack Sparrow

Unexpectedly

Appears.

Of course she is quite beautiful

And erudite and witty.

The blacksmith's not entirely sure

Quite why she's on the ship.

She does not help the plot advance,

Just sits there, looking pretty.

* * *

She's wise beyond

Her tender years,

Her talent knows

No bounds.

Her smile is bright, her hair divine,

Her speech, anachronistic.

She banters with the pirate crew,

They hang on every word.

She is a girl of many parts,

But none are realistic.

* * *

And thus she wins

The blacksmith's heart.

(She has not read

The script.)

He soon forgets fair Lizzie Swann,

She meets with no resistance.

She knows that things will work out fine,

True love will find a way.

(She married Legolas, the elf

In a previous existence.)

* * *

_to be continued... _

_Will the course of true love run as smoothly as she hopes?_


	2. Spoilt for choice

**_a/n: _**_as per first chapter_

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean. Flannelette remains independent._

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden, part 2**

* * *

**Spoilt for choice...**

Brave Flannelette

Will stay on board

By popular

Demand.

She's now a member of the crew.

(Despite Jack's reservations.)

She's fallen for the Commodore,

The blacksmith's less than thrilled.

So brace yourself for broken hearts

And pointless complications.

* * *

The blacksmith or

The Commodore?

She really can't

Decide.

They cannot help themselves, poor men,

They're both completely smitten.

She knows her one true destiny

Is somewhere in the stars.

(This isn't really all her fault,

It's just the way she's written.)

* * *

So, blacksmith's manly

Forged physique?

Or a man in

Uniform?

She's finding it quite difficult

To make the right decision.

The blacksmith and the Commodore

Both wait with bated breath.

(They appear to have forgotten

They were on a rescue mission.)

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Will Flannelette make up her mind? And will anyone remember to rescue Lizzie?_


	3. And off they go

_a/n: as in part 1_

_I neither own nor make any money from any aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean. (and Flannelette is still a free woman.)_

**

* * *

**

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden. Part 3.**

* * *

**And off they go...at last**

Tortuga is

The place they stop.

A den of drink

And vice.

But Flannelette is quite prepared

To step on foreign soil.

She knows how to defend herself,

Excels with sword or gun,

An expert in baritsu.

(No, wrong fic, that's Conan Doyle.)

* * *

The residents

Now form a queue

To join the

Pirate ship.

They fight a lot, have never washed,

And some are quite unsteady.

But once they've spotted Flannelette,

They want to mend their ways.

(Ignore the earlier verse which showed

They'd got a crew already)

* * *

The blacksmith and

The Commodore

Do not converse

At all.

To win the lovely pirate maid

They may do something drastic.

They only joined the pirate ship

To rescue Lizzie Swann,

But since they've seen dear Flannelette

They're less enthusiastic.

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Is Lizzie ever going to be rescued?_

_What will happen to the accidental crew Flannelette was bantering with in part 1?_

_Baritsu- combat technique known only to Sherlock Holmes, used mainly to deal with arch enemies._


	4. A plot hole is discovered

_a/n; as per chapter 1_

_I own no aspect of the Pirates of the Caribbean. (and Flannelette is, of course, "every woman")_

**

* * *

**

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden. Part 4.**

* * *

**A plot hole is discovered...**

Then, off to Isle

De Muerta with

This brand new crew

On board,

For somewhere on that distant shore

The ship, Black Pearl, is waiting.

And Flanelette? She's dreaming

Of a Naval Summer Ball,

Or an evening with the blacksmith

Which would raise this poem's rating.

* * *

The Commodore

Then disappears,

He's just reviewed

The film.

And realised he's on the ship

He's meant to be pursuing.

He finds a nearby crew prepared

To hunt the pirates down.

And thinks about the pirate maid

And what she might be doing.

* * *

The pirate crew

Have noticed that the

The Commodore

Has gone.

They've also seen the film

And understand his situation.

With naval vessel on their back

And ghostly ship ahead,

They know they're bound to have

A rather nasty confrontation.

* * *

_to be continued..._

_So, just how nasty will this confrontation be?_


	5. Not quite what she had in mind

_a/n: as per first chapter_

_No aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean belongs to me, and I make no money from borrowing them. (Flannelette is as free as a bird.)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden. Part 5**

* * *

**Not quite what she had in mind...**

Fair Flannelette

Can help them out,

And teach them all

She knows.

She puts aside her angst to share

Her expertise in fighting.

She teaches complex combat moves,

And lethal new techniques.

(But isn't keen on Lizzie Swann

And blacksmith reuniting.)

* * *

They reach the Isle

De Muerta and

The Black Pearl is

In sight.

Bold Flannelette is thrilled

To find the tales were mostly true.

Poor Lizzie Swann has not resolved

The ancient pirate curse.

She's failed to help restore to life

The motley, ghostly crew.

* * *

A rather brutal

Fight ensues,

Barbossa's pirates

Win.

The blacksmith bravely volunteers

Himself as sacrifice.

And Flannelette considers

How her options may have changed,

And wonders if a life as

Ghostly mistress might be nice.

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Can Barbossa resist the charms of Flannelette?_

_Can anyone?_


	6. Barbossa makes a decision

_a/n as in chapter 1_

_I neither own nor make any money from The Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette is utterly independent and answers to no-one)_

**

* * *

**

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden. Part 6.**

* * *

**Barbossa's turn to make a difficult decision...**

Barbossa spies

Our heroine

She stops him in

His tracks.

He wonders who this goddess is,

This angel he is facing.

Her siren's voice, her bright blue eyes,

Her lovely, perfect smile.

Although he has no living heart,

He swore that it was racing.

* * *

Alas he learns

The awful truth,

About this

Perfect girl.

This vision is in fact

His greatest enemy's young sister!

Despite the pain it causes

He is forced to let her go.

She'll have to share her brother's fate

However much he missed her.

* * *

Now, three of them

Abandoned on

A tiny strip

Of sand.

The perfect opportunity

To get to know each other.

Flannelette had often dreamed

Of desert island life,

But never thought she'd share it

With her rival and her brother.

* * *

_to be continued..._

_gosh, do you think they will find any alcohol?_


	7. In which alcohol is discovered

_a/n: as per chapter 1 ,this only had 4 verses until I read Wolf's Shadow's comment re Flannelette handling drink well... _

_I do not own nor profit from the Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette continues to weave life's rich tapestry)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden. Part 7**

* * *

**In which alcohol is unexpectedly discovered...**

You'll never guess

What happens next!

They find a store

Of rum!

This leads to merry drunkenness

And awkward situations.

But Lizzie Swann discovers,

If she piles up all the drink,

The blaze when she ignites the lot

Exceeds her expectations.

* * *

Fair Flannelette

Observes her work,

Impressed at what

She's done.

A signal from the rum-fuelled flames

Is really rather clever.

She sees her, not in rival terms,

Like every girl she's met,

But thinks there is a chance that they

Could be best friends forever.

* * *

(Flannelette, of course,

Can take

A tot or two

Of rum,

And still maintain her dignity,

Quite beautifully composed.

Her brother, on the other hand,

Does not react the same,

A similar amount

And he is swiftly indisposed.)

* * *

So then the girls

Just sit and chat

About their clothes

And hair,

While Jack,when sober, comprehends

The altered situation.

Indignantly, he staggers up,

Laments the lack of rum,

(Quite certain that no other fic

Has used the same quotation.)

* * *

And right on cue,

The Commodore

Appears to save

The day.

He greets dear Flannelette with care,

Unsure of his position.

The sun-kissed maidens speak as one

And smile coquettishly.

"One of us will be your bride,

If you help our rescue mission."

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Is the Commodore feeling slightly overwhelmed now?_

_Will Flannelette and Lizzie really be BFFs?_


	8. May contain mild peril

_a/n: as per chapter 1._

_I own nothing to do with the Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette is once, twice, three times a lady)_

* * *

**The Aventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden. Part 8**

* * *

**May contain mild peril...**

They head to

Isle de Muerta;

Captain, castaways

And crew.

The crew are quite transfixed

By Flannelette's exotic beauty.

The commodore is troubled

By his oath to Crown and King,

Assisting pirate renegades

Is not a naval duty.

* * *

So, Jack and

Flannelette approach

The Aztec treasure

Cave.

And Lizzie dons loose pirate clothes

(Tight bodices are hateful!)

She rescues singlehandedly

The captured pirate crew,

Who flee to home and safety

And are not remotely grateful.

* * *

The blacksmith sees

His friends arrive,

In just the nick

Of time.

Barbossa had just reached the point

When precious blood starts spilling.

The pirate captain's making sure

The curse will be revoked.

He has never shied away

From any chance to make a killing.

* * *

Jack challenges

Barbossa to

A deadly, ghostly

Duel;

A valiant attempt to stop

The planned exsanguination.

Flannelette and Lizzie free

The blacksmith from his bonds,

But Barbossa targets Lizzie,

Who can save this situation?

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Well, who do you think could possibly save the situation?_


	9. Dying to get to know her

_a/n: as per chapter 1_

_I do not own anything to do with the Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette- her heart will go on... and on.)_

**

* * *

**

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden. Part 9

* * *

**

**Dying to get to know her...**

Barbossa in

The moonlight;

Flannelette is quite

Enthralled.

She loves the very bones of him,

She sees them all quite clearly.

And when Barbossa sees her smile

He lets his weapon fall,

Distracted by the presence

Of the girl he loves so dearly.

* * *

The blacksmith and

Jack Sparrow take

Advantage at

This point.

They need to break the curse

And so the last two coins go flying.

Barbossa gets a fatal blow,

Restored to living flesh,

And Flannelette moves gracefully

To kiss him as he's dying.

* * *

She mourns his death

Quite beautifully.

A single tear

Is shed.

Barbossa`s final memory

Is her, and all her charms.

He dies at peace, with no regrets,

One single thought in mind;

Content to trade a lifetime

For a moment in her arms.

* * *

So, thanks to

Lovely Flannelette,

Barbossa is

No more.

The Commodore's return ensures

The ghostly crew's defeated.

The blacksmith and the Commodore

Concede a fragile truce.

But who will Flannelette choose now

Their mission is completed?

* * *

_to be continued..._

_What will her answer be?_


	10. And the winner is ?

_a/n; as per chapter 1_

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean, and make no money out of them. (Flannelette-why do birds suddenly appear, every time she is near? )_

**

* * *

**

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden. Part 10

* * *

**

**And the winner is...?**

Fair Flannelette

Just gazes at

These two competing

Men.

Her eyes are clear, her hair is gold,

Her skin as soft as peaches.

She bites her lip (Her teeth look great!)

A tear rolls down her cheek.

(Her brother merely rolls his eyes,

He's heard her anguished speeches.)

* * *

"Dear Commodore!

Oh, blacksmith brave!

Which one has won

My heart?

I've changed my mind so many times

I'm feeling slightly dizzy.

I'll have to go and find myself,

Commune with sea and sky.

I'll come back when I've made my choice.

Till then, you still have Lizzie."

* * *

So, two abandoned

Suitors watch

Their angel sail

Away.

They wave till she is out of sight,

Both sad, pathetic losers.

They sigh, then turn to Lizzie Swann,

And reappraise her charms.

She's really quite a comely wench.

(And beggars can't be choosers.)

* * *

_to be continued..._

_What will Lizzie do now?_

_Where exactly will Flannelette find herself?_


	11. What is a girl to do?

_a/n: as per chapter 1_

_Thanks again to Wolf's Shadow for causing the additon of two verses to this chapter:)_

_I own nothing to do with Pirates of the Caribbean, and make no money from them. (Flannelette... say it loud and there's music playing, say it soft and it's almost like praying)_

**

* * *

**

The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden. Part 11

**

* * *

**

**What _is_ a girl to do...?**

And Lizzie stands

With hands on hips,

And stares the losers

Down.

She wonders if those love-struck swains

Will ever really learn.

She turns around to walk away,

Her head held proud and high .

Jack whistles, stops her in her tracks,

And softly whispers, "Burn."

* * *

And Lizzie

Sees Jack Sparrow

In a new, intriguing

Light.

Of course , she loves the blacksmith,

And quite likes the Commodore.

And Jack is just a rogue and thief,

Not suitable at all!

But could it be a pirate's life

Which she is destined for?

* * *

The Commodore

Then brightens up,

Recalls a recent

Vow.

He beckons Lizzie hopefully,

She knows where this is heading.

With Flannelette now off the scene

The promise lands with her.

Her fate is unavoidable,

She'll have a naval wedding.

* * *

And Lizzie thinks

Of Flannelette,

Adventuring

Alone.

Quite free to travel carelessly

Where destiny may send her.

She's left poor Lizzie in the lurch,

To wed the commodore.

Despite her role as bosom pal,

She's tempted to "unfriend" her.

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Will Lizzie keep her vow? Is it a pirate's life for her?_

_Will Flannelette find herself and return, before Lizzie unfriends her?_


	12. When Lizzie met Jack

_a/n: as per chapter 1_

_This chapter was not part of the original plan but Ultrawoman and Wolf's shadow and Lemon Zinger seemed to feel the tale was lacking a Sparrabeth element..._

_I do not own anything to do with the Pirates of the Caribbean, and make no money from them. (Flannelette-I am sailing, I am sailing, to be near you, to be free...)_

**

* * *

**

The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden. Part 12

* * *

**When Lizzie met Jack...**

And now it's time

To head for home,

They board the nearest

Ship.

The blacksmith and the Commodore

Aren't talking to each other,

And Lizzie has a change of heart

Regarding Flannelette,

And spends the voyage, quite selflessly

"Consoling" her big brother.

* * *

So, as the days

And nights go by,

While Lizzie

"Comforts" Jack,

The blacksmith and the Commodore

Applaud her thoughtful action.

It warms their hearts to see the zeal

With which she takes this on,

Impressed that such a simple task

Could bring such satisfaction.

* * *

Before they dock

At Port Royal,

Fair Lizzie must

Decide.

For there are promises to keep

(she knows her Robert Frost)

And Lizzie Swann is not the type

To break a solemn vow.

She knows she'll wed the Commodore

Regardless of the cost.

* * *

She breaks the news

To Jack, who seems

Unflatteringly

Calm.

He'd had a lovely time,

But no desire to settle down.

And Lizzie, unexpectedly,

Discovers that her dreams

Concern a certain blacksmith

And herself in wedding gown.

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Has Lizzie succeeded in having a more tangled love life than Flannelette?_

_Surely Flannelette has managed to find herself by now?_


	13. Angst and multitasking

_a/n :as per part 1 _

_I do not own anything to do with the pirates of the Caribbean, and make no money from them. ( Flannelette- and after all, you're my Wonderwall. )_

****

* * *

****

The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden. Part 13

**

* * *

******

Angst and multitasking...

And where on Earth,

Is Flannelette?

And has she found

Herself?

She's boldly gone where no

Fair pirate maiden's gone before.

She's seen the Dalai Lama

In the mountains of Tibet,

And sourced the mighty Amazon,

Yet yearns for something more.

* * *

She's swum with dolphins,

Walked with kings,

And cured the

Common cold.

She's sorted global climate change,

And brought about World peace.

Her wisdom and her beauty

Are renowned throughout the land.

But who'll be waiting at her side

When all her exploits cease?

* * *

She's written lots

Of poetry,

The sort which wins

Awards.

She's dabbled in theology,

Stayed with the Pope in Rome.

She has written childrens' novels

Which have outsold all the rest.

But who is there to read to

When she finally goes home?

* * *

And so, it's time

For Flannelette.

To make her final

Choice.

To take the road less travelled

And return to make her claim.

And thus she's heading homeward,

Where her destiny awaits.

(I'd like to stretch this out a bit,

So I won't reveal his name.)

* * *

_to be continued..._

_So, who is it then...?_


	14. There's no place like home

_a/n : thanks again to nytd and Lemon Zinger for initial encouragement, and to all who have read, reviewed, suggested and commented, all greatly appreciated :) Really sorry about not being able to use Ultrawoman's suggestion that Flannelette should fall for the parrot..._

_I do not own anything to do with Pirates of the Caribbean, and make no money from them. (Flannelette- born free, as free as the wind blows, as free as the grass grows, born free to follow her heart. )_

**

* * *

**

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden. Part 14**

* * *

**There's no place like home...**

Much later, back

At Port Royal,

You'll recognize

The scene.

(The one where everybody stands

And looks at one another.)

The Commodore was quite prepared

To hang Jack Sparrow high.

But thinks how Flannelette might feel,

If he executes her brother.

* * *

The Commodore

Knows Lizzie Swann

Prefers the blacksmith's

Arms.

His heart is in so many bits,

He's lost the will to fight her.

He lets her break her wedding vow,

His future's looking dim.

(He's seen the other films and knows

It won't get any brighter.)

* * *

They watch Jack Sparrow

Sail away,

The Black Pearl in

His sights.

Lizzie and the blacksmith

Are a picture of devotion.

The Commodore stares out to sea

Resigned to "meals for one",

And thinks about his pirate maid

Upon a distant ocean.

* * *

The Commodore

Walks home alone,

His mind on

Flannelette.

She'd had him at that first "hello",

With her he felt completed.

He turns the key, and trudges in;

A sad and broken man.

Then looks towards his favourite chair,

Where Flannelette is seated !

* * *

_The End...for now._

_Will the author, (having now bought a DVD of the second film to refresh her memory) let Flannelette continue with her inspiring journey?_

_And is Davy Jones prepared...?_

_Is anyone...?_


	15. Now where were we?

_A/N: Contains possible spoilers for PotC:DMC."T" rating is just in case:)_

_Thanks again to Nytd; any mistakes are my own._

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean, and make no money from them.(Flannelette:she's strange and she's beautiful.)_

_After a 5 month "hiatus", the story continues..._

* * *

**The adventures of Flannelette:the pirate maiden: part 15**

* * *

**Now...where were we?**

So, back we go

To Port Royal

To carry on

This tale:

The Commodore loves Flannelette;

Flame-haired and ruby-lipped.

(Forget the actual plot for now;

Let Norrington enjoy

The taste of peace and happiness,

Denied him in the script.)

* * *

With picnics on

The golden sand,

And frolics

In the sea;

And sultry Caribbean nights,

Which make the bed posts rattle;

The commodore is hopeful

He can change his final scene.

(To something more like "You've Got Mail",

Or "Sleepless in Seattle".)

* * *

But then,

The storm clouds gather;

And it rains

And rains and rains.

The Commodore knows deep inside,

His lovely life is slipping.

A soaked, abandoned wedding scene;

The bridegroom now in chains,

And, most pathetic sight of all;

A sodden Lizzie...dripping.

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Who could possibly want to spoil everything?_


	16. You left me crying in the rain

_A/N:As per chapter spoilers for PotC:DMC_

_No aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean belongs to me, and I make no money from them. (Flannelette: you are my sunshine;my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey.)_**

* * *

**

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden 16**

* * *

**You left me crying in the rain...**

Flannelette runs over

To her

Very soggy,

Friend,

Whose hair hangs down in rats' tails,

As mascara smears her face.

For Flannelette, despite the rain,

Her hair stays soft and dry;

And her perfect, subtle make-up

Stays impossibly in place.

* * *

A devastated

Wedding day,

A couple's peace

Destroyed.

Which slimy little weasel-toad

Would have the heart to wreck it?

The mystery is quickly solved;

A whining voice rings out,

(Feel free to hurl abuse),

The dulcet tones of Cutler Beckett.

* * *

Thus enters

Cutler Beckett;

Such an odious

Little man.

A pedantic little jobsworth

With a nasty ruthless streak.

Devoid of charm and decency;

And as for Flannelette:

She finds him quite repulsive.

(This may make the man unique!)

* * *

Dear Flannelette

Is horrified;

Her friend

Is led away.

To languish in a prison cell;

A dungeon, dank and foul.

A hostage till her blacksmith

Can complete a daring quest;

When she really needs a nice hot bath

And a nice big fluffy towel.

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Are there now a lot of indignant weasels and toads out there?_

_Will Lizzie ever dry out?_


	17. Decisions, decisions

_A/N:Contains spoilers for PotC:DMC._

_I own no aspect of, nor earn anything from Pirates of the Caribbean.(Flannelette:livin' la vida loca.)___

**

* * *

**

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden: 17**

* * *

**Decisions, decisions...**

The Commodore

Loves Flannelette,

But knows

His destiny;

Resigns his proud commission

And casts off remaining hope.

The bed posts rattle one more time;

He bids his love farewell.

He leaves behind poor Flannelette,

His razor, comb...and soap.

* * *

Now, Flannelette's

Uncertain

Of the path

She has to take.

She could stay to comfort Lizzie,

She could warn her brother, Jack,

She could try to follow Norrington,

Or help the blacksmith out;

It will take her many angst-filled hours,

To choose the wisest track.

* * *

After great

Deliberation,

(And a preview

Of the film;)

Brave Flannelette decides

To help the blacksmith with his mission.

And Liz will be delighted

Her betrothed won't sail alone;

And won't be plagued at all

By nagging doubts or deep suspicion...

* * *

So, the blacksmith,

And bold Flannelette

Consult

Lord Weasel-Toad;

He'd really like Jack's compass

And a chance to rule the waves.

And Liz describes to Will,

In quite impressive graphic terms,

Precisely what will happen

If her true love misbehaves.

* * *

_to be continued..._

_What precisely will happen to Will if he misbehaves? _

_Can he resist Flannelette's charms long enough for you not to find out?_


	18. A girl can dream

_A_/_N:Contains spoilers for PotC:DMC_

_Pirates of the Caribbean and associates do not belong to me.(Flannelette: there must be an angel playing with my heart)_

_A longer chapter (and quicker update)-for Ultrawoman; Many Happy Returns!_

**

* * *

The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:18**

* * *

**A girl can dream...**

So, Lizzie waits

In solitude;

Abandoned

And alone;

While Will and lovely Flannelette

Sail off to find big brother.

She hopes that Cutler Beckett

Keeps his word to set her free,

And that Flannelette and Will

Can keep their mittens off each other.

* * *

She shivers,

Still quite damp and cold,

And talks to

Dog-with-key.

(Around the time Jack Sparrow's

Heading Pearlward in his coffin)

She recalls the thrilling time

She had on board the pirate ship;

And wonders if Jack's cabin

Would be great to get dried off in.

* * *

Meanwhile,

Off the beaten track,

Our heroine

Sails on.

She drapes her lovely, flawless form

On deck for hours and hours;

Her hair soft-lifted by the wind,

Her skin sun-kissed and smooth.

(Will finds that meditation helps,

And lots of ice cold showers.)

* * *

Through balmy days,

And moonlit nights,

Will Turner

Keeps his word.

His friendship with fair Flannelette

Stays distant and platonic.

He's focused on the task ahead,

And the girl he left behind;

Which, given Lizzie's recent thoughts,

Is both noble...and ironic.

* * *

A picture perfect

Paradise,

With miles of

Golden sand.

A squawk; and Cotton's parrot

Swoops to greet dear Flannelette.

She smoothes his ruffled feathers,

Strokes his beak and wins his heart.

If a creature she can't charm exists;

She hasn't met it yet.

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Will the blacksmith run out of meditations and cold water?_

_And is Ultrawoman happy now?_


	19. A cliffhanger

_A/N:Contains spoilers for PotC:DMC._

_Last verse is for Nytd:)_

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette: I saw her face; now I'm a believer )_

**

* * *

**

The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:19

* * *

**A cliffhanger...**

The vessel

They'd arrived on

Had already

Disappeared.

The crew declined the chance

To hang around and say "Goodbye."

Dear Flannelette was puzzled

At their haste to leave the Isle;

They'd seemed nervous and unsettled,

She could not imagine why.

* * *

So, the blacksmith

And fair Flannelette

Set off in search

Of Jack;

A hot and humid jungle trail,

No other souls in sight.

As sweat-damp, flimsy garments

Cling to Flannelette's fine curves;

Will Turner does his best

To meditate with all his might.

* * *

A clearing

In the jungle,

And an

Unexpected trap;

As Will and Flannelette

End up together, upside down.

They are closely tied together,

For an audience with the king.

(You'll never guess which famous

Pirate Captain wears that crown!)

* * *

Meanwhile,

In that Port Royal jail;

A cunning plan

Is hatched;

As Lizzie loses hope

That her beloved's coming back.

She dreams of best friend Flannelette

Entwined in blacksmith's arms.

(But won't disclose the dream

Which starred herself with Captain Jack.)

* * *

And Flannelette,

Indeed,

Is tangled up

In blacksmith's arms.

There really isn't space to move

Inside a cage-bone-ball.

Yes, they found Jack Sparrow;

No, it hadn't gone as planned.

Dangling off a scary cliff

Is not much fun at all.

* * *

Fair Flannelette

Peers sadly

At the other

"Man-made" cage.

She looks at all the occupants

And fears they'll soon be dead.

They are clearly the expendables;

The nameless background crew.

(If this had been the Enterprise,

They'd all be wearing red.)*

* * *

So, up close

And very personal

With Pintel, Gibbs,

And Will.

And Cotton and Ragetti;

Things appear a little grave.

A radius and ulna

And a femur catch her eye;

She thinks fondly of Barbossa**,

In the moonlight, in that cave.

* * *

_to be continued..._

_What has Lizzie got in mind?_

_Has Jack abandoned his sister to her fate?_

_*see separate fic "The Call of Duty", but only if you have Trek inclinations:)_

_**see chapter 9 of this fic, if you have Barbossa inclinations:)_


	20. Several plot holes are disposed of

_A/N: as per Chapter 1. Some spoilers for PotC:DMC._

_I neither own nor make any money from Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette:you can dance, you can jive; having the time of your life.)_

_Any mistakes are my own._

**

* * *

**

The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:20

* * *

**Several plot holes are disposed of...**

They are stuck,

It would appear,

Between a hard place

And a rock;

A deadly plummet downwards

Or the islanders next meal.

Luckily on board they have

An expert mountaineer;

Ex-Sherpa Flannelette

Can put an end to this ordeal.

* * *

She quickly teaches

All the crew

To abseil

Up the cliff;

With calmness and precision,

She directs their steady rise.

The "expendables" drop past them,

Screaming loudly as they fall.

(If you've read the previous chapter,

This will come as no surprise.)

* * *

Meanwhile, Liz

And Liz's dad

Attempt

A prison break.

Another hapless extra dies

While trying hard to save her.

And soon she's in the presence

Of Lord Beckett once again.

(If she squeezed her pistol trigger,

It would do the World a favour.)

* * *

To summarize:

While Flannelette

And Will

Ascend a cliff;

Poor Liz encounters someone who is

Small and mean and petty;

And dog-with-key has checked his lines

And reappraised his role,

And somehow is now on a boat

With Pintel and Ragetti.

* * *

Norrington remains,

It seems, unwashed,

Unkempt,

Unshaved.

(The details aren't precise

As he is on a secret mission.)

Jack Sparrow's on the menu

Of the Islanders next feast.

It isn't clear who's in

The most precarious position.

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Did anyone notice that Pintel, Ragetti and dog-with-key were accidentally in completely the wrong places?_

_Can you actually abseil upwards, or only downwards?_


	21. A dog is for life

_A/N:as per chapter one. Possible spoilers for PotC:DMC_

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette: nobody does it better, makes me feel sad for the rest.)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:21**

* * *

**A dog is for life...**

At last, fair Flannelette

And Co.

Have reached

Their cliff-top goal;

But peril still awaits them

As the Islanders fight back.

They flee like giant hamsters,

In a giant hamster ball,

And are joined in their retreat

By a be-skewered Captain Jack.

* * *

Dog-with-key,

And comrades,

Reach the same

Lush palm-fringed shore.

They spy the Black Pearl waiting,

Like a long-lost pirate mate.

They watch their pirate Captain

Do a brisk four minute mile,

And all attempts at

Dignity and calm disintegrate.

* * *

And dog-with-key

Barks bravely

At the angry,

Hungry mob;

He knows he's been abandoned

To his canine destiny.

His former pirate friends have fled

And left him all alone.

(Let's hold a minute's silence

For that noble dog-with-key.)

* * *

Now, Will and Jack

At last sit down,

To figure out

The plot.

Will would like Jack's lovely compass;

Jack needs help to find a key.

They sigh and think of Lizzie

In her cold, dank prison cell;

Aware, that if they fail,

How short and damp her life might be

* * *

Wise Flannelette

Thinks otherwise;

Her friend just won't

Sit still.

She's bound to make a prison break,

Assisted by her dad.

And at that very moment,

She might be on board a ship;

Disguised quite unconvincingly,

In breeches, as a lad.

~o~

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Could Flannelette possibly be correct in her predictions?_

_Is dog-with-key truly doomed?_


	22. The ghost of a chance

_A/N:see chapter one. Possible spoilers for PotC:DMC_

_I own no aspect of Pirates Of the Caribbean.( Nobody puts Flannelette in a corner.)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:22**

* * *

**The ghost of a chance...**

So, following

Discussion

And an argument

Or two;

Will, Flannelette and Jack decide

They can't succeed alone.

Who better to assist in this

Quite complicated plot,

Than a vengeful lady/goddess

Who has issues of her own?

* * *

The Black Pearl crew

And Flannelette,

Now paddle up

The creek

And down dark, spooky waterways

To Tia Dalma's shack.

And even Cotton's parrot seems

Unusually tense

As one or two regret the choice

To follow Captain Jack.

* * *

They spot her

Lovely homestead

(Lots of nailed-together

Planks.)

And Flannelette smiles widely

As she greets her childhood friend.

(Yes, Flannelette has met Calypso

Many times before;

They've shared more strange adventures

Than you'd ever comprehend.)

* * *

They swap

An undead monkey

For a lovely

Jar of dirt,

And some vital information

On the Flying Dutchman's crew.

Fair Flannelette leaves Tia

With some useful parting gifts;

The details of her dentist

And some rather fine shampoo.

* * *

The crab-rocks,

Tia showed them,

Prove quite easy

To locate;

A scuttled ship awaits them

On a dark and stormy night.

Jack Sparrow thinks that Will

Would be the perfect volunteer.

(And there are no angry Krakens

Out there, spoiling for a fight.)

* * *

And Liz

Is playing ghosties

With a gullible

Ship's crew.

It simply takes a night dress

To fool hardened sailing folk.

She "swans" about the deck

In her improbable disguise.

(Amazingly, not one of them

Can tell she's not a bloke.)

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Are sailors really that shortsighted?_

_Does Jack have any piratey ulterior motives?_

_What did Tia and Flannelette get up to ?_


	23. Now, what rhymes with tentacle?

_A/N:as per chapter one. Some spoilers for PotC:DMC._

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette: lady in red; she's dancing with me.)_

* * *

**Now; what rhymes with tentacle?**

Brave Will

And Flannelette,

(She would not leave him

To his fate.)

Approach this shattered vessel

In their little rowing boat.

Jack Sparrow isn't happy

That his sister got involved;

And wonders if he ought to send

Young Lizzie Swann a note.

* * *

A shipwreck on

Some storm-tossed rocks;

A scared,

Depleted crew.

A heartless Davy Jones,

(Devoid of atria and ventricles.)

A helpless band of captive souls;

Sad creatures from the deep,

In human form with extra

Seaweed, shells, fish-parts and tentacles.

* * *

The doomed;

And nameless,

Remnants of the broken crew

Stand firm;

Flannelette and Will join in

This line-up on the shore.

As Davy Jones spots Flannelette;

Her sea-spray dampened form,

There's a stirring in his tentacles

He hasn't felt before.

* * *

Now; Davy Jones

Is not

The most attractive man

On Earth;

But Flannelette sees deeper than

The slimy squid façade.

And finds herself enchanted

By this lost and troubled soul.

The choice 'twixt squid and blacksmith

Is surprisingly quite hard.

* * *

So, despite the

Senseless slaughter

Of the hapless,

Nameless crew;

A gentler, softer story

Is developing as well.

As Flannelette and Davy Jones

Lock eyes amidst the storm;

And Flannelette considers

How she'd look as fish or shell.

~o~

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Surely Flannelette has not found herself in yet another love triangle?_

_And what about Norrington?_

_And where is Lizzie?_

_And will Tia Dalma find out?_


	24. You cannot please everybody

_A/N: As per chapter one. Some spoilers for PotC:DMC._

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean.(Flannelette:F is for friends who do stuff together.)_

* * *

**The Adventues of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden: 24**

* * *

**You cannot please everybody...**

And Davy Jones

Extends

A cautious

Tentacle or two;

Watched silently by all the men

He's hurt, demeaned and bullied.

He gently touches Flannelette;

Her soft and flaming curls,

And Flannelette feels wonderful;

Quite usual and unsullied.

* * *

Will Turner

Stares in disbelief;

This isn't

In the script!

She's supposed to help her best friend, Liz,

Escape the hangman's noose.

She's not supposed to fall

For Davy Jones's squid-like charms.

(A marine biology degree

Is not a good excuse.)

* * *

He sighs;

Prepared to forge ahead

With rescue plan

Alone.

He keeps his fingers crossed

That things won't go from poor to bad.

He spies a barnacle encrusted

Crab-like, slouching form,

With the profile of a Turner;

It's his long-lost, long-dead dad!

* * *

United on a

Scuttled ship;

Well met

Amongst the dead.

Not precisely the reunion

Young Will Turner had in mind.

And to cap it all, Jack Sparrow

Joins this life-enhancing scene.

A simple three day task;

One hundred souls (that's all) to find.

* * *

Brave Flannelette

Stops staring

Into inky,

Soulful eyes;

And pulls herself together;

She will play her destined part.

She sets aside her feelings

For the human/cephalopod.

She knows, in every sense,

She'll find the key to Davy's heart.

~o~

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Has Flannelette decided where her loyalties lie?_

_Is Will Turner beginning to get slightly irritated?_

_Liz?_

_Norrington?_


	25. Things can only get better

_A/N:as per chapter 1. Some spoilers fot PotC:DMC_

_I own no aspects of Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette:if you leave me now, you take away the biggest part of me.)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:25**

* * *

**Things can only get better...**

Will Turner

Soon discovers

Captain Sparrow's

Double cross.

Without a second thought, he's left

Poor Will to take his place.

Apparently, he's off to find

Just ninety nine more souls;

Though Will suspects he'll simply

Disappear without a trace.

* * *

And Flannelette's

No help at all;

Although he loved her

Once.

She's fallen hard for Davy Jones.

(Both sense and script defying.)

They're both now at the Dutchman's bow;

His claw around her waist;

Her arms outstretched, her body arched,

Her high pitched squeal, "I'm flying!"

* * *

And just to add

To all

His current

Misery and woe;

He's dropped the bloody cannon

And is heading for a whipping.

The only hope he clings to

Is his constant "One True Love";

Though, as the lash comes biting down,

His confidence is slipping.

* * *

But still

He bravely

Soldiers on,

Despite the pain and grief.

He gambles with his liar's dice

To glimpse the yearned-for key.

He loses (Not a big surprise,

This seems to be a trend.)

A century of servitude

Is now his destiny.

* * *

And as for Flannelette;

Has she

Abandoned

Those she loved?

The blacksmith did not see her hurried talk

With Bootstrap Bill.

He does not know the turmoil

Which besets her lovely heart;

Or the silent tears she shed inside

When lashes rained on Will.

~o~

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Where does Flannelette's true loyalty lie?_

_Is Will feeling a tiny bit sorry for himself?_


	26. Things are looking up

_A/N:as per chapter one. Spoilers for PotC:DMC_

_I own no aspects of Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette:you've got a friend in me. )_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:26**

* * *

**Things are looking up...**

_The Flying Dutchman_

Stateroom;

Where a mighty organ

Stands

And two devoted figures

Play recitals, side by side.

As stirring music fills

The nooks and crannies of the ship,

Will Turner tries to concentrate

On key and would-be bride.

* * *

Bootstrap Bill

Approaches his

Severely

Ticked-off son,

And beckons him to follow

Through the decks and corridors.

They reach the mighty organ

And a soft-toned lullaby;

As Flannelette plays on alone

And Davy gently snores.

* * *

Will Turner

Now loves

Flannelette;

His best, most loyal friend.

She plays with expertise and grace

As Will removes the key.

And Flannelette gives Davy Jones

One wistful, parting kiss,

Before they leave the _Dutchman_;

In a longboat, launched at sea.

* * *

Two people

Thrown together

By the twists and turns

Of fate.

To save their friend, they need to find

That chest and then unlock it.

Will Turner is distracted

From his thoughts of Lizzie Swann,

By a "tasteful" sketch of Flannelette

He found in Davy's pocket.

* * *

There is no

Detailed log

Of how they kept

Themselves amused;

Surrounded by the ocean

Just the two of them, alone.

It is purely speculation

That they ended "more than friends".

For the sake of Liz and Norrington,

Things are better left unknown.

* * *

_to be continued..._

_How did Davy Jones manage to sketch anything with those claws?_

_Is anyone going to tell Liz and Norrington?_


	27. Who is fooling who?

_a/n: as per chapter one. Spoilers for PotC:DMC_

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette: who's going to drive you home tonight? )_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:27**

* * *

**Who is fooling who?**

Meanwhile on

A trading ship;

A strapping, manly

Lad,

With lovely ankles, swan-like neck,

Smooth skin and huge dark eyes;

Has found a puppet wedding dress

And a trail of burning words,

Will fool a crew with too few brains

To see through her disguise.

* * *

And over in

Tortuga,

Where The Black Pearl

Anchor weighs;

A motley bunch of volunteers

Lines up to join the crew.

Though all are more than welcome,

Whether old, inept or drunk.

To make it look official

There's a pointless interview.

* * *

Four

Unimpressive

Crewmen join

The Black Pearl's mighty ranks;

So all they have to do

Is find another ninety five.

But wait! A fifth potential crewman/victim

Now turns up,

Who seems to be the most ungroomed,

Dishevelled, man alive.

* * *

Malodourous,

Unkempt, unwashed,

And just a little

Drunk.

No life, no ship, no Flannelette,

No Liz, no King's commission.

A sad and desperate Norrington;

Who mourns the life he's lost,

(But then again, it's possible

He's on a secret mission.)

* * *

So, fists are raised,

And swords are drawn,

And pistols waved

Around;

An amusing bar-room bout of

Drunken brawling now takes place.

Poor Norrington is felled and left

To sleep among the pigs;

By a sad, and angst-filled girl/boy,

With a quite familiar face.

~o~

* * *

_to be continued..._

_when will someone see through Lizzie's amazing disguise?_

_Are Will and Flannelette still happily occupied?_

_Anyone feel sorry for Norrington?_


	28. Gosh it's a girl!

_a/n:as per chapter one. Spoilers for PotC:DMC_

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette:you're so vain, I bet you think this song is about you)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:28**

* * *

**Gosh..it's a girl!**

Next morning,

Jack and Norrington

Head back towards

_The Pearl._

The ex-Commodore looks peaky;

Quite a sickly shade of green.

Their attention is diverted

By a young and handsome "lad".

The prettiest young crewman

Those two men have ever seen.

* * *

They find themselves

Attracted by his

Simple

Boyish charms;

They know there's something strange

But can't work out just what it is.

You can almost hear the cogs and gears

Turn slowly in their brains

As they reach the stunning truth:

That this young gentleman…is Liz!

* * *

Jack Sparrow

Hides his rum

Before approaching

"Crewman" Swann.

While Norrington is otherwise,

Quite messily distracted.

And Lizzie's thoughts are focused

On the whereabouts of Will;

(Jack may have problems telling her

Precisely how he acted.)

* * *

Hostage on

A ghostly ship!

Trapped, helpless

And alone!

And none of this is _any_ fault of Jack's

In _any_ way.

If Liz could find the slimy wretch

Who left her love in chains;

She knows a thousand different ways

To make the blackguard pay.

* * *

Jack tries to

Reassure her,

With a single

Note of hope;

Will Turner has some company,

His sister Flannelette.

He's just a bloke so cannot see

This does not reassure.

To Liz, that combination

Is as bad as it could get.

~o~

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Now, what will Lizzie do?_

_And is Norrington feeling better?_


	29. All at sea

_a/n: as per chapter one. Spoilers for PotC:DMC_

_Pirates of the Caribbean does not belong to me. (Flannelette:she's always a woman to me.)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:29**

* * *

**All at sea...**

Liz is

Still determined

In her quest

To save poor Will;

Jack Sparrow takes advantage

Of her noble dedication.

He gets his precious compass out,

And all his pirate charms;

Persuading her to focus

And reveal the right location.

* * *

So off they sail;

The Black Pearl crew,

Six extra souls

On board;

Their aim; to find the dead man's chest

And all that lies within.

The crew lay bets that Liz will learn

That Jack abandoned Will

And settle down to speculate

When fireworks might begin.

* * *

And Norrington

Is quite subdued;

He misses

Flannelette.

He also misses soap,

And his much cleaner navy life.

He's grubby, sick and miserable,

At Beckett's beck and call;

And now won't ever reach his goal

Of home and kids and wife.

* * *

Now, Liz is getting

Lonely

And recalls her jailhouse

Dreams

There really is no guarantee

She'll get her blacksmith back.

Perhaps she might explore the ship

To get some nice fresh air;

And, just by chance, she might locate

The bunk of Captain Jack…

* * *

A Caribbean island;

Quite

A peaceful

Little place:

Completely unaware

Of an impending mass intrusion.

A long boat and a pirate ship

Are sailing ever near,

Just add the _Flying Dutchman_

To ensure complete confusion.

~o~

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Surely you feel sorry for Norrington now?_

_And will there be fireworks and everything?_


	30. Light blue touch paper and retire

_a/n: as per chapter one. Contains spoilers for PotC:DMC._

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette: I'm lost and alone, chilled to the bone;Silver Lady.)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:30 **

* * *

**Light blue touch paper and retire... **

A little later

Lizzie Swann

Walks nonchalantly

Past

The Black Pearl Captain's cabin;

And discreetly tries the handle.

She's torn between the quite compelling

Nature of those dreams,

And a sensible desire to stay

Unmarked by pirate scandal.

* * *

The handle moves

Quite noiselessly,

Her heart beats fast

And wild,

She glances round to check

Once more for hidden prying eyes.

The coast is clear, she makes a move,

To step inside that door.

A whisper from the shadows;

"Are you sure that this is wise?"

* * *

James Norrington,

(Ex-commodore)

Steps from

His hiding place;

Bedraggled, but determined

To explain to Lizzie Swann

Exactly why her groom-to-be

Is stuck with Flannelette,

And precisely who Jack Sparrow

Landed all his debts upon.

* * *

A little later

Lizzie Swann

Storms Captain Sparrow's

Bunk.

The Black Pearl crew are quite impressed

At Lizzie's turn of phrase.

A surprising range of cursing

For a prim young Governor's girl;

As Jack learns what she thinks of him

In crude and novel ways.

* * *

The crew observe

The Governor's girl

Stalk off

With head held high,

Then watch their Captain stagger out;

His hat, and pride, askew.

As Jack locks eyes with Norrington.

He knows who spilled the beans;

And ruined his "rapport" with Liz,

(And entertained the crew.)

~o~

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Is this the end of a beautiful friendship?_

_And is Norrington happy now?_

_And what about dog-with-key?_


	31. There are no cold showers on a long boat

_A/N:as per chapter one. Contains spoilers to PotC:DMC_

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette:she's just a girl who can't say no)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:31**

* * *

**T****here are no cold showers on a long boat...**

Meanwhile,

On that long boat;

Not a single voice

Is heard.

Two sleeping figures, gently rocked

By waves; the air is still.

Their craft drifts gently shoreward

To that palm-fringed, peaceful isle.

Perhaps the calm sea whispers softly;

"Flannelettawill."

* * *

No Liz, no Jack,

No Norrington,

No faithful

Dog-with-key,

No pirate-borne philosophy

From random upturned bible;

Just two exhausted refugees;

Asleep, adrift, entwined.

(To speculate beyond this point

May risk the charge of libel.)

* * *

They float through bits

Of broken hull;

A trading ship,

Destroyed

A flimsy, ghostly nightgown

Bumps the boat and soon is gone.

A storm, perhaps? A mutiny?

A course too near the rocks?

Or a Kraken called by Davy Jones;

(Whose heart may _not_ go on.)

* * *

Meanwhile

On the Dutchman's deck;

The Captain's

Quite enraged;

Determined to annihilate

Those double-crossing wretches.

(Despite his sad betrayal

By the fickle Flannelette;

He still retains a folder

Of preliminary sketches…)

* * *

He sets a course

To find his heart;

And those who seek

It's power.

Determined he will thwart each rescue bid

And bold endeavour.

The palm-fringed Isle basks happily

In sun-warmed evening breeze;

Quite unaware it's seen

It's last nice peaceful sunset ever.

~o~

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Will we finally get to the interesting bit on the island?_

_Where has the author borrowed the "preliminary sketches" idea from?_


	32. When the boat comes in

_a/n: see chapter one. Contains spoilers for PotC:DMC._

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean (Flannelette: don't stop her now, she's having such a good time; she's having a ball.)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:32**

* * *

**When the boat comes in...**

A spade,

A sweat-soaked Norrington,

And lots and lots of

Sand.

A workshy Captain Sparrow

Who seems deep in contemplation.

A disgruntled governor's daughter;

Standing, sulking by the sea;

Hoping that a miracle

Will change her situation.

* * *

She spots

A distant object

Bobbing brightly

On the waves;

A boat (indeed-_that _longboat ),

Washes slowly to the shore.

A friend? A mortal enemy?

An empty drifting craft?

She recklessly runs closer;

She intends to find out more.

* * *

Two heads appear

Above the prow;

One brown-haired,

Dark-eyed male;

The other with a russet mane

Which sparkles in the sun.

It makes all other russet things

Seem boring, dull and drab;

And looks exactly like the silk

Which angels might have spun.

* * *

And Lizzie knows;

(Of course, she knows!)

Without a shred

Of doubt,

Precisely who they are

And what their "shipwrecked" state implies.

So Will and Flannelette now face

The greatest threat of all;

An ex best friend and bride-to-be,

With murder in her eyes.

~o~

* * *

_to be continued...soon_

_Did anyone not think this was going to happen?_


	33. Hell hath no fury

a/n: as per chapter one. Contains spoilers for PotC:DMC

I own no aspect of pirates of the Caribbean.(Flannelette: torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool.)

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:33**

* * *

**Hell hath no fury...**

Fair Flannelette

Smiles hopefully,

As Liz Swann

Nears the boat;

And Will regrets abandoning

Cold showers and meditation.

He tries, in vain, to reassure

His furious betrothed,

And digs himself a bigger hole

Than James' fine excavation.

* * *

He tells her of

His sad ordeal;

His Flying Dutchman

Hell;

He even rips his shirt off

To display the marks from whips.

Bold Flannelette was simply

Just a handy, helpful friend.

He hadn't even noticed

She had curves and soft red lips…

* * *

This could have

Been the moment

When Miss Swan believed

Her man;

But tucked inside his shirt

Had been that sketch of Flannelette.

It appears with evil timing,

Flutters gently to the ground;

And ensures that Will's defence,

Is now as weak as it can get.

* * *

It slowly dawns

On Jack and James

That something's

Going on.

They look towards the loud

And angry Lizzie on the shore.

Will Turner sees Jack Sparrow

And forgets his "lover's tiff"

He quickly gets his pistol out,

To settle up a score.

* * *

Three pistols cocked

By angry men;

Three heads

To point them at;

A chance that one of them

Will make a move they'll all regret.

But then… all ire is cast aside;

All enmity dissolves:

Their pistols drop, they stare, transfixed,

As Liz fights Flannelette.

~o~

* * *

_to be continued..._

_so, who are you putting your money on?_


	34. Cat fight!

_a/n:re chapter one. Spoilers for PotC:DMC._

_No aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean belong to me. (Flannelette: the female of the species is more deadly than the male...)_

_Apologies to Ultrawoman for including some stereotypical girly elements in the fight:)_

_Umm...and this one is a bit long, I got carried away a bit..._

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:34**

* * *

**Cat fight!**

Miss Swann

Is spitting mad

At Flannelette,

Her turncoat friend.

She's angry that she tempted Will

To leave the straight and narrow.

She lunges; sending Flannelette

Face forward on the ground.

(And seems to have forgotten

All her dreams of Captain Sparrow.)

* * *

Though Flannelette

Excels, of course,

At many

Battle skills.

(She's learned from many masters

Such as ninja, orc and elf.)

She should have stayed away from Will;

For once she's in the wrong.

Her goal is not to maim or kill

But just defend herself.

* * *

No rules;

No sweet decorum;

No fine manners;

No holds barred.

Just nails which scratch, and teeth which bite,

And elbows, fists and feet.

As clothes are ripped and hair is pulled,

And bodies twist and squirm;

The audience of three are sure

Their lives are now complete.

* * *

As Will observes

The governor's girl,

Revealed

In tooth and claw;

He understands one simple truth;

How much he really missed her.

And James is certain Flannelette

Is still the girl for him;

And Jack is pleased to note

The fighting prowess of his sister.

* * *

Will also studies

Flannelette;

Her hair, untamed,

Flies free.

Her bodice, torn, and smeared with sand;

Sweat gleaming on her brow.

He tries to concentrate on Liz;

The girl he loves the most,

But knows deep down he really needs

An ice cold shower, right now.

* * *

And Jack and James

Are drawn towards

A spray-drenched

Lizzie Swann;

Now rolling in the foam-tipped surf,

A most compelling sight.

Her hair's in rat tails down her back;

Her tattered garments cling:

An image which could easily

Disturb their dreams that night.

* * *

They watch

As Liz quite gracefully

Surprises

Flannelette.

One well-timed rugby tackle

And she's head first in the water

Triumphantly, she holds her down;

Her hands twist russet silk;

Her conduct unbecoming

For a governor's gentle daughter.

* * *

But Flannelette's

Not beaten yet;

She grabs a

Dainty foot;

And Liz is now the one

To get close contact with the sand.

The audience, though still entranced,

Experience some doubt.

They wonder if this epic fight

Is getting out of hand.

* * *

Then Liz

Unsheathes her sword,

Springs up, and faces

Flannelette.

(She isn't simply here

So Jack and Co. are entertained)

And Flannelette is forced to dodge

A well-aimed killing blow

Her hand goes to her shoulder;

Comes away, now crimson stained.

* * *

Enough

Is quite enough,

The boys are forced

To intervene.

They must prevent the girls

From really damaging each other.

So Liz is carried off by Will;

Protesting every step;

And Flannelette is dragged away

By James and her big brother.

* * *

When Flannelette

Can catch her breath,

She turns to

Lizzie Swann;

She bows her head; "I'm sorry;

I forgot what friends are worth.

Although Will is your "one true love",

I could not keep away."

(He reminded her of one

She'd loved and lost in Middle Earth.)

* * *

"I'm sure

He's always in your thoughts;

And in your dreams

Each night.

You're faithful to this fine young man

(With all his elf-like charms.)

I hope you can forgive me, Liz,

I promise I'll behave;

It's clear to me that _you _belong

Inside your blacksmith's arms."

* * *

Jack Sparrow coughs

And turns away,

And Liz turns

Slightly pink.

James smiles; the only witness

To her handle-testing trip.

A truce, a very fragile truce,

Is mutually declared.

Hostilities will be resumed

If good intentions slip.

* * *

Will soothes the wounds

His bride sustained,

James tends to

Flannelette.

They then return to check

The great big hole which James was digging.

A cheer as spade strikes solid wood;

The chest of Davy Jones?

Far out at sea, a grey mist hides

The Flying Dutchman's rigging.

~o~

* * *

_to be continued..._

_are they all friends now, or is there an undercurrent of simmering resentment and conflicting loyalties which could erupt at a moment's notice?_

_anyone notice the accidental link to the last line of chapter one?_

_anyone notice that we seem to have found the original plot again?_


	35. The calm before the storm

_a/n: contains spoilers for PotC:DMC_

_No aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean belong to me.( Flannelette: the face that launched a thousand ships.)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden: Part 35**

* * *

**The calm before the storm...**

James Norrington

Puts down his spade,

And smiles

A weary smile.

He's found the buried treasure;

He locks eyes with Flannelette.

Fair Flannelette's distracted

By this wild dishevelled man;

He's done a lot of digging

And he's flushed and damp with sweat.

* * *

Flannelette

And Norrington

Sneak off,

For old time's sake.

A soft, secluded stretch of shore;

Respite before the battle.

A brief, intense encounter

As the white surf ebbs and flows;

An echo of those days in which

They made the bed posts rattle.

* * *

Afterwards,

Dear Flannelette,

James, Jack,

Liz Swann and Will

Are focused quite completely

On that hole, dug in the sand.

Not one of them has understood

What life has shown so far;

Events are complicated

And will never go as planned.

* * *

Jack Sparrow

Has a debt to pay,

Liz wants to be

A bride,

Norrington is keen to see

His nice clean life restored,

Will Turner hopes to marry Liz

And rescue Bootstrap Bill,

And Flannelette? She hopes

To stop the others getting bored.

* * *

And Pintel?

And Ragetti?

They both have

Their hope and dreams.

A quiet life? A comely wench?

A hammock by the sea?

A life quite free from pillaging?

A shiny, new glass eye?

Or a chance to study Shakespeare,

And an English lit. degree?

* * *

For now,

They're both content

To laze by longboats

At the shore.

And discuss their distant viewing

Of the pirate ladies' fight.

Complacency is shattered

As they spy the Dutchman's sails

And watch her as she dives

Beneath the waves and out of sight.

~o~

* * *

_to be continued..._

_will everybody get exactly what they need?_

_is hell about to freeze over?_

_and, gosh! Where has the Flying Dutchman gone?_


	36. The gloves are off

a/n: contains reference to PotC:DMC.

No aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean belong to me. (Flannelette:you are always on my mind.)

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden: Part 36**

* * *

**The gloves are off...**

A chest inside

Another chest;

A necklace

Made of pearls.

The second chest is lifted out

And checked quite carefully.

The chest is very firmly shut;

The lock won't budge at all!

It's now Will Turner's moment;

He reveals the missing key.

* * *

Jack Sparrow

And James Norrington

Are really

Quite impressed.

This item is the handiest

The blacksmith boy could get.

Will waves the key quite modestly

And gestures to his right;

"The key to Davy Jones's heart

Belongs to Flannelette."

* * *

He hands fair Flannelette

The key,

Aware of Lizzie's

Pout.

She blushes very prettily;

Her hair gleams soft and bright.

She stoops so very gracefully

To open up the chest;

Then halts and looks around;

She knows that something isn't right.

* * *

Will Turner

Has his dagger out;

Jack Sparrow's

Closing in;

And Norrington has opened up

A bag he must have hid.

And Pintel and Ragetti,

In the distance, play charades.

A flapping bird? A clog dance?

And some type of diving squid?

* * *

Dismissing frantic

Acting;

Flannelette

Surveys the scene.

Each man is surreptitiously

About to draw his sword.

At last, it seems, they've realised,

There is no common ground.

Their different aims and motives

Can no longer be ignored.

* * *

Will Turner

Wants to stab the heart,

To save his

Dear old dad;

Jack Sparrow wants the heart intact

To keep away the kraken;

And Norrington's determined

He will take the heart back home.

(And hopes whoever wrote the third film script

Was quite mistaken.)

~o~

* * *

_to be continued..._

_What was Pintel and Ragetti's fine acting meant to convey?_

_Is Norrington starting to get slightly worried about the third film?_


	37. And the swords are out

_a/n: refers to PotC:DMC_

_No aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean belong to me.(Flannelette: wherever you lay your hat: that's my home.)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden: part 37**

* * *

**And the swords are out...**

Three swords

Are waved in anger;

Two fair ladies

Roll their eyes;

A fight begins; the ladies shrug

And guard the treasure chest.

The men engage in battle

And disturb a lot of sand.

A pointless, endless swordfight

Is the sort they like the best.

* * *

After parries, thrusts

And posturing;

The girls

Get quite annoyed;

So Lizzie "faints" dramatically,

To get the boy's attention.

This fails, so lovely Flannelette

Joins in with somersaults;

Revealing certain underclothes

I'm too polite to mention.

* * *

And still they wield

Their stupid swords;

And still they

Charge about.

The girls resort to throwing rocks,

And quite enjoy this game.

Liz throws just like a weedy girl;

And misses every time;

But Flanelette's honed cricket skills

Result in perfect aim.

* * *

Fed up with

Getting hit by rocks,

The boys move

More inland.

A little church provides

A certain picturesque appeal.

A nearby structure somehow seems

The perfect battleground.

They fight like giant hamsters,

On a giant hamster wheel.

* * *

Now, Pintel

And Ragetti

Have abandoned

Drama class;

As fish-faced, shell-draped crewmen

Are emerging from the ocean.

They race towards the treasure chest,

Abandoned by the girls.

An opportunity to gain

From chaos and commotion.

* * *

Soon Pintel

And Ragetti;

Lizzie Swann

And Flannelette

Are fighting fish-faced people

And are driven from the shore;

And Liz, quite unexpectedly,

Reveals some fencing skills;

Impaling fish-folk left and right;

A most impressive score.

* * *

The chest is left

Abandoned

As they fight to save

Their lives.

Sharp weapons fly from hand to hand

As fish men are repelled.

And Jack takes full advantage

Of their brave and noble stand;

Unlocks the chest and puts the heart

Where only dirt was held.

* * *

_to be continued..._

_is this really fair of Jack?_

_and is another hamster reference strictly necessary?_


	38. When the wheel stops turning

_a/n: contains elements of the plot of PotC:DMC; particularly elements requested by ontheotherhand:-)_

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean (Flannelette:out of my dreams and into my heart.)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden: part 38**

* * *

**When the wheel stops turning...**

The "hamster wheel"

Rolls slowly

To the surf-flecked

Palm-fringed shore.

It tips; the two remaining

Hamster/ swordsmen stagger out.

Gradually, it dawns on them

That things, perhaps, have changed;

As Flannelette and Liz

And several fish folk charge about.

* * *

Will Turner rushes off

To aid his

Lovely

Bride-to-be;

James spots the empty longboat,

Treasure chest and jar of dirt.

The penny drops; he checks

There are no witnesses about;

Now two hearts beat a rhythm

Underneath his once-clean shirt.

* * *

Now, Pintel

And Ragetti

Are retreating

Down the beach;

They check the chest is in the boat

And cast off from the shore.

Will Turner waves his sword around

And stops them in their tracks;

Jack Sparrow tests the impact made

When blacksmith's head meets oar.

* * *

The girls,

Still fighting bravely,

Reach Jack Sparrow

And poor Will.

Liz wants to help the blacksmith,

Lying slumped across the boat.

"Just leave him," is the Captain's

Unexpected, strange advice;

"The chance he'll make a useful

Extra weapon is remote."

* * *

The fish-faced folk

Edge nearer;

Is this where

My poem ends?

They'll never leave the shore alive

And reach the waiting _Pearl_ !

James Norrington declares

That he will make the sacrifice;

He plants one final kiss

Upon a silken copper curl.

* * *

He lifts

The pirate treasure chest;

Jack Sparrow

Lets him go;

He knows the heart beats safely

In his precious jar of dirt.

James strides towards his destiny;

His head and chest held high;

And one heart hammers faster

Than the other 'neath his shirt.

* * *

Fair Flannelette

Weeps softly

For the man

She loved and lost;

She sees him face the angry hordes

(Just like the dog-with-key.)

Against all hope and reason

They had tried to change his fate;

The script, alas, had triumphed;

It just wasn't meant to be.

~0~

* * *

_to be continued..._

_who will console Flannelette?_

_are they now completely safe and set for a peaceful voyage home?_


	39. What could possibly go wrong?

_a/n: contains elements from PotC:DMC._

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean (Flannelette:you're my first, my last, my everything)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:39**

* * *

**What could possibly go wrong?**

**~o~**

And thus

Brave Flannelette

And Will and Liz

And Jack sail on.

And only James and vital bits

Of Davy Jones remain.

The fish-faced folk surround

The rather brave ex-commodore.

He throws the chest and runs;

He aims to live to fight again.

* * *

Fair Flannelette

Stares mournfully;

And thinks about

Her James;

Remembering the nights (and days)

They made the bed posts rattle.

She'd like a nice straightforward trip,

With no adverse events.

(Like krakens, mermaids, storms at sea

Whirlpools or any battle.)

* * *

Meanwhile, Davy Jones,

On board

The _Dutchman,_

Clasps his chest;

It's time to get Jack Sparrow,

Unless he's much mistaken.

He gives his fishy crew the nod

To work the thumping thing

And send a signal to the depths

To irritate the kraken.

* * *

In blissful, peaceful

Ignorance,

The _Black Pearl_

Journeys on.

Lizzie Swan and Will, once more,

Begin to plan their wedding.

Poor Flannelette's still staring

At the ever-changing sea.

Not even she can sense

The trouble into which they're heading.

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Now, what will the kraken make of Flannelette?_


	40. A kraken remembers

_a/n:contains spoilers for POTC:DMC, sort of._

_No aspects of Pirates of the Caribbean belongs to me. (Flannelette: she can talk to the animals...)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:40**

* * *

**A kraken remembers...**

A tentacle!

A giant one;

Is heading

For the ship!

She shouts, as any sister would,

For help from her big brother.

Jack Sparrow spots the danger

And alerts the pirate crew.

A second tentacle appears;

A third one, then another!

* * *

And then,

The kraken's body/head

Appears

Above the waves

He grabs a nameless crewman;

Lifts him up, and squeezes tight.

A second nameless crewman

Meets a squished and messy end.

(The crew with names have better odds

That they'll survive the fight.)

* * *

Jack Sparrow's

So distracted,

That he drops

His jar of dirt.

The jar contained some dirt

But should have held a heart as well!

He thinks back to the eager way

James chose to stay behind;

And vows that when they meet again,

He'll really give him hell.

* * *

Just then,

The kraken stops and stares;

He's just seen

Flannelette.

Bright butterflies and pretty birds

Fly through his kraken brain.

He thinks about the kraken maid

He loved so long ago.

The one he courted, loved and lost

Within his deep domain.

* * *

A young fair

Kraken lady

And a lovelorn

Kraken lad;

A matched devised in heaven;

Such a perfect kraken pair.

Proud flannelette reminded him

That he was happy once;

Just tentacle in tentacle,

Or combing kraken hair.

* * *

_to be continued..._

_could this be the start of something beautiful?_


	41. Music soothes the savage beast

_a/n: contains possible spoilers for PotC:DMC_

_I neither own nor profit from use of these characters. (Flannelette: she's just a girl who can't say no.)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:part 41**

* * *

**Music soothes the savage beast.**

The kraken smiled

A scary smile,

And waved

At Flannelette.

He dropped a crewman at this point,

Who landed on the deck.

(For those of you concerned

About the welfare of this man;

He landed on spare ropes and sails,

So did not break his neck.)

* * *

And Flannelette,

In turn,

Was quite impressed

At what she saw;

A well-toned hopeful kraken,

With a twinkle in his eye.

She waved and smiled back happily,

And flicked her russet mane.

It can't be said she lets

An opportunity pass by.

* * *

She spoke

In fluent kraken,

To the kraken's

Great delight.

Sang ancient kraken love songs

Which he'd heard so long before.

And once again he thought about

That lovely kraken maid;

He'd never thought he'd find

Another creature to adore.

* * *

Jack Sparrow,

Liz and Will,

Stared open mouthed

At this display.

Jack loved his little sister,

But this really was too much!

James, Will, Barbossa, dog-with-key,

That parrot, Davy Jones;

And now a monstrous kraken

Had succumbed to her fair touch!

* * *

_to be continued..._

_so, is this the start of a beautiful friendship?_

_and what does a kraken love song actually sound like?_

_am I allowed to misquote Shakespeare in the title?_


	42. A slight hitch

_a/n: contains slight spoilers for PotC:DMC_

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean (Flannelette: nobody puts her in the corner.)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden 42**

* * *

**A slight hitch...**

Just then

The spell was broken

As the kraken

Spotted Jack;

Remembered Davy Jones

And what his task was meant to be.

Despite the special moment

He had shared with Flannelette;

He knew he had to send them

To the bottom of the sea.

* * *

So; masts

And other vital bits

Of ship were

Thus destroyed;

Another nameless crewman

Met a nameless crewman's fate.

The ones with names tried bravely

To repel the kraken's might.

It seemed their puny efforts

Were too little and too late.

* * *

Jack Sparrow,

In the mayhem,

Took the long boat

For a spin.

Discretion seemed more sensible

Than staying back on board.

His sister, and young Liz and Will

Would manage on their own.

Regret and guilt and loyalty

Weren't things he could afford.

* * *

So, Flannelette,

In vain, tried hard

To soothe

The kraken's wrath.

While Will put all explosives

In a hanging, lethal sack.

When Lizzie failed to set alight

His makeshift home-made bomb;

The vital shot to save them all

Was fired by…Captain Jack!

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Is this the end of a beautiful friendship?_

_Did guilt, loyalty and regret ambush Jack Sparrow?_


	43. You've got a friend in me

_a/n: contains spoilers for PotC:DMC._

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette:don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like her?)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden 43**

* * *

**You've got a friend in me...**

Now, time for

Lizzie Swann

To act

Before it's all too late.

The kraken's after Jack

And also yearns for Flannelette.

She's fond of Captain Sparrow

( Who still features in her dreams.)

But wants her Will as far from

Her best friend as he can get.

* * *

She smiles at

Jack and Flannelette

While crew

Abandon ship.

She tells dear Flannelette

Her friendship gives her such delight.

She kisses Jack upon the lips;

To " keep Will on his toes"

Then slips a chain round both,

And round the mast, and locks it tight.

~0~

Jack Sparrow

Looks at Flannelette;

The kraken looks

Confused

At such a helpful gesture

From a member of the crew.

Underneath his scary smile

He hides a gentle soul;

But he knows he has to do

What great big scary krakens do.

* * *

The siblings stand

Together,

Lizzie makes

A fast retreat;

And Flannelette resolves

To find a brand new bestest friend.

The kraken opens up his

Great big sharp-toothed, kraken maw.

A cry of "Hello, Beastie!"

Is this where the Sparrows end?

~0~

* * *

_to be continued..._

_Well, is it?_


	44. Missing you already

_a/n: contains spoilers to PotC:DMC_

_I neither own nor profit from any aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette: the sun will come up tomorrow.)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden 44**

* * *

**Missing you already...**

Liz,

On board a long boat

With the last

Remaining crew.

A tear rolls down Will Turner's face;

He knows his friends are lost.

"They bravely sacrificed themselves,

So we might all survive."

Cries Lizzie; as, behind her back,

She keeps her fingers crossed.

* * *

The world,

It seems, joins in

To mourn

The loss of Flannelette

The brightest of God's creatures

Prematurely, is no more.

Grey clouds roll past in sympathy

And shed their rainy tears.

And sobbing waves from seven seas

Lap sadly at the shore.

* * *

And countless

Would-be suitors

Lose all purpose

In their lives;

And everything seems dull and flat

Without that fairest maid.

The bird songs seem all out of tune,

The butterflies are stilled,

And flowers, once so beautiful

Begin to wilt and fade.

* * *

Jack Sparrow, too,

Perhaps, is mourned

By maybe

One or two;

Will Turner, Liz (ironically)

Some ladies of the night.

And even crew who'd mutineered

Might miss his unique charms

And may recall that Sparrows

Don't give up without a fight…

~0~

* * *

_to be continued..._

_is the world truly Sparrowless now?_


	45. All wrapped up

_a/n:Contains spoilers for PotC: DMC_

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean (Flannelette:if you leave me now, you'll take away the very heart of me)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden 45**

* * *

**All wrapped up...**

So, leaving Jack

And Flannelette

To face their

Destiny

Let's deal with all those scattered,

Messy, unresolved loose ends.

What fate befell _The Dutchman_ crew,

James, dog-with-key and Liz?

And Pintel and Ragetti

And surviving pirate friends?

~0~

Picture Davy Jones,

Delighted with his

Treasure

Chest;

He wants his precious beating heart;

To touch and gaze upon.

Alas, the chest is empty,

Nothing vascular inside!

He curses Captain Sparrow;

Now his heart will not go on!

~0~

Now James,

Unkempt ex Commodore,

Arrives on board

A ship.

He gives his heart to weasel-toad;

Not proud of what he's done.

He's lost his dearest Flannelette

And knows what lies ahead;

According to the third film's script;

He won't have any fun.

~0~

The dog-with-key,

Improbably

Is now

An island king;

Adorned with beads and rattles

And quite happy on his throne.

Let's hope his subjects draw the line

At canine casserole;

For now, he's quite content to sit

With crown, and giant bone.

~0~

The grieving

Black Pearl crewmen

Mourn fair Flannelette

And Jack.

Calypso has some happy news;

She's sure they'll be delighted.

She's found the perfect captain,

Who could help retrieve their friends;

And thus, Barbossa, and his crew

At last, are reunited!

~0~

(In tribute to his greatest fan;

Please spell that "reuNytd ")

* * *

_to be continued at some point..._

_anyone seen my DVD of AWE?_


	46. A plot is located

_a/n: Contains spoilers for PotC:AWE_

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette: she's got Bette Davis eyes)_

_A belated gift for ultrawoman:-)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden:part 46**

* * *

**A plot is located...**

We left the world

In mourning

For its dearest

Brightest star.

An all-pervading sadness

Flows in ripples round the earth.

Babes-in-arms (both girl and boy)

Are christened Flannelette,

And artists paint and authors write

Their tributes to her worth.

~o~

Her name

And likeness

Decorate

The finest china cups.

Embroidered hearts on pillowslips

Include her lovely name.

Without the chance to hear her voice

And touch her raven hair,

No member of the human race

Will ever be the same.

~o~

Does Liz, perhaps

Feel guilty

At the major part

She played

In sending Sparrows krakenward

And far away from Will.

Perhaps a twinge of conscience

As she smoothes her pillowslips,

Or sips from finest china cups

(From Flannelettaville))

~o~

But then

A bluebird's song is heard,

The sun

Begins to shine,

A baby panda frolics:

Liz stands still and holds her breath.

As rainbows, doves and shooting stars

And butterflies appear;

It seems, perhaps, dear Flannelette

Escaped from certain death.

~o~

And James,

A guilty shadow

Of his former

Upright self

Looks up and sees the rainbows

And the lovely roses bloom.

He thinks about his dear lost love

And hope stirs in his chest.

He'll win her back, despite the odds

And beat his script of doom.

~o~

Barbossa sees

The happy baby panda,

Shrugs

And smiles;

He's not surprised those Sparrows

Might prove difficult to kill.

And Flannelette was quite a lass,

A pearl amongst the swine;

A fearless, flawless, pirate wench;

And far too good for Will...

~o~

And Will,

Surprised by shooting stars,

Attempts to

Concentrate

On lovely Lizzie Swann,

Who's turned a whiter shade of pale.

She's clearly overwhelmed at hopeful news

About her friend.

He keeps his fingers crossed that ice cold showers,

This time, won't fail.

~0~

And Liz,

Recovers quickly

From the shock

The sunshine brings;

Deciding that, perhaps

The news is not completely bad.

She hugs her loyal blacksmith,

But her heart meanders off

Towards a much missed dreadlocked.

Kohled and beaded pirate lad.

~0~

* * *

_Could this uncomplicated beginning lead to a straightforward tale...?_


	47. Anything you can do

_a/n: contains elements from PotC:AWE_

_I own no aspects of Pirates of the Caribbean (Flannelette:practically perfect in every way)_

* * *

**Chapter 47 of the Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden**

* * *

**Anything you can do...**

A little boat,

One occupant,

In oriental

Garb,

Is paddled in the darkness to the shore.

The strains of "hoist the colours"

Sung quite softly through the gloom

Ring out across the docks of Singapore.

~o~

And then,

A voice of loveliness

Joins in

This pirate song,

Exquisite, and in fluent mandarin;

A second, slightly bigger boat

Glides up to join the first,

A smoky voiced young nightingale within.

~O~

In perfect pitch

And harmony

She sings

And guides her craft,

Transforming this old piratey refrain;

Those blessed enough to hear her

Would give everything they had

To hear her sing one single note again

~o~

The girl on board

The smaller boat

Is dressed, once more

As male,

Convinced her great disguise

Will fool them all.

There is a chance, of course,

That she will once again succeed

(If foe are almost blind and brains are small.)

~o~

The girl on board

The bigger boat

Dispenses with

Disguise,

Relies on charm alone to cause distraction

She knows (of course she knows by now),

That lustrous jet black hair, a flawless skin

And perfect teeth produce the right reaction.

~o~

Both boats

Approach

The dockside

And their occupants prepare

They give each other slightly wary glances

They share a troubled past

And now a temporary truce

But neither one is taking any chances.

~o~

* * *

_to be continued..._

_So, no chance of conflict here then?_


	48. regrets, she had a few

_a/n: contains references to PotC:AWE_

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette: she walks in beauty like the night)_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden: chapter 48**

* * *

**Regrets; she had a few...**

Dear Flannelette

(For it is she,

On board the

Bigger boat)

Is trying to forgive her ex best friend

But still recalls the Kraken and his gaping, dripping maw

And Liz who tried to engineer her end.

~o~

The Kraken;

She recalls the beast;

A tear rolls down

Her cheek.

(A cheek more soft and smooth than any peach)

He could not harm dear Flannelette,

No matter how he tried

And gently spat her out upon a beach.

~o~

She harnessed

Joyful dolphins

And a sea turtle

Or two

To carry her back home across the sea;

And now she's joined the mission to recover Captain Jack

And complicate the plot, delightfully.

~o~

And Liz,

Now quite regrets

Her role

In aiding homicide,

And finds her thoughts return to Captain Jack

Despite her treasured friendship with her perfect, bestest friend;

It wasn't Flannelette she wanted back...

~o~

* * *

_So, best friends again then?_


	49. sitting at the dock of the bay

_a/n:refers to PotC:AWE_

_I own no aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean (Flannelette: truly scrumptious )_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden: chapter 49**

* * *

**Sitting at the dock of the bay...**

Barbossa waits

Impatiently

Beside the

Sea-worn dock,

As two boats, not identical, sail in.

From one he hears the pirate song he learned so long ago

The other adds two flutes and violin.

~o~

The ladies leave

Their boats behind,

Approach the pirate

Lord.

Dear Flannelette's as lovely as he reckoned;

And Liz, though dressed so carefully as oriental lad,

Does not deceive Barbossa for a second.

~o~

The game's afoot!

(A borrowed line,

From Doctor Conan

Doyle)

They scurry off as outlined in their plan.

They hope to gain some allies

With a nice big sailing ship

And meet up with Will Turner, if they can.

~0~

Pintel and Ragetti

And the

Other

Motley crew

Are somewhere underwater, close at hand;

Prepared to step in sharply if, like every other time,

Things don't proceed precisely as they planned.

~o~

They squelch

Along the sewers

And the drains

Of Singapore;

Malodorous and filthy, in the "mud".

If any men would take on such a filthy, sodden role:

This little band of pirate flotsam would.

~0~

* * *

_Gosh, where could Will be?_


	50. Revealed in all her glory

_a/n:refers to PotC;AWE_

_No aspect of Pirates of the Caribbean belongs to me (Flannelette, Flannelette; so good they named her twice )_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden; chapter 50**

* * *

**Revealed in all her glory...**

Meanwhile Liz,

Barbossa, and the

Lovely

Flannelette

Are stopped, and asked for all their weaponry

There's widespread admiration as fair Liz is forced to show

Where swords and muskets just aren't meant to be.

~0~

Flannelette

Anticipates

A similar

Request;

Disrobes, and puts silk garments in a pile

While Liz is spared no blushes in a skimpy little robe,

She follows, wearing just a winning smile.

~0~

Barbossa,

Though enchanted

By the sight that's

Now revealed;

Retains a small degree of common sense.

Thus Flannelette is now attired in pirate captain's coat.

(For many, disappointment is immense.)

~0~

A steaming, sweaty,

Chamber

Filled with

Steaming sweaty men.

They stare at Flannelette, and Liz as well.

They hope to meet the pirate lord, and hope he has a ship.

To snatch Jack Sparrow from his lockered Hell.

~0~

The oriental lord

Appears

And takes

To Lizzie Swan;

A soaked and captive blacksmith is revealed.

With water running gently down his dripping manly chest;

No wonder Liz and Flannelette both squealed.

~0~

With trouble clearly

Brewing

And with angry

Weapons drawn;

Perhaps they need a common enemy.

What better than that pirate-hating, children-hanging team,

The infamous East India Company.

~0~

* * *

_Will Flannelette and Liz be able to concentrate?_


	51. I predict a riot

_a/n: contains reference to the plot of PotC:AWE_

_I neither own, nor make any profit from Pirates of the Caribbean. (Flannelette: also known as_ _**the **woman )_

* * *

**The Adventures of Flannelette the Pirate Maiden: Chapter 51**

* * *

**I predict a riot...**

An interloper

In their midst,

With crayoned-on

Tattoo;

An unexpected extra evil foe.

The bath-house pirates join

Barbossa, Will and girls above;

The patient filthy crew join in below.

~0~

An entertaining battle,

Full of

Fireworks

And noise;

With Jack, the undead monkey, taking part.

Brave Flannelette, in naught but coat,

Swirls round, deflects, and thrusts;

A sight to melt the hardest, coldest heart.

~0~

And somehow

In the mayhem,

As the battle

Rages on,

Will Turner makes a slightly dodgy pact.

He makes a deal with Mercer

Just to help his dear old dad,

And only Flannelette observes this act.

~0~

Then off

To find Jack Sparrow,

Joining forces

With Sao Feng;

Two pirate crews together on one boat.

Barbossa has an inkling

Of the temperatures they'll face,

And makes dear Flannelette hand back his coat.

~0~

It's cold,

It's very, very cold;

A chilly,

Icy trip;

An eyebrow numbing, finger freezing storm.

Despite the flimsy garments

Flannelette has put back on,

She's radiant and glowing, toasty warm.

~0~

* * *

_Will Flannelette now have a hold over Will?_

_What will Liz do, if she finds out?_


End file.
